My guest today is Amy Kelly - Nervous System and Identity Coach, founder of The Unshakeable Woman, and host of the Dream Big with Amy podcast. This is an honest, and inspiring conversation about what it really takes to rebuild your life and dream big, after walking away from the life you thought was forever. Amy is a previous client of mine, and it's been such a joy to have been a part of her speaking journey - from not feeling like she had a voice, to gaining clarity on her story and mission to now speaking on international stages.

Can you share the moment when you realised your voice truly mattered?

I think it was going through the breakdown moment that changed everything for me. I was living in Costa Rica at the time, helping out at a surf and Spanish school, and I was around a younger crowd - about twenty of us. They asked me what my story was, and I shared a little about where I was and what I'd been through. Everyone just listened in silence and they said: wow, you've really been through it.

I didn't know that at the time. I just thought - well, everyone goes through this. But looking at them and realising they were genuinely moved, people started saying: you should really speak about this. And I thought - should I? Do I need to?

Then I started having micro conversations with them all, and they said: 'Amy, we look up to you for following something you've wanted to do. That makes a real difference.' And in that moment I knew - I need to do something with this. This is more than me. I had this little voice inside saying: you have a mission and you've got to go and do it.

That was about three years ago. And it was really the start of my journey into coaching and thinking about the bigger impact I wanted to make.

For listeners who don't know your story - can you take us back to the beginning?

Growing up, I was a very quiet child. Very nervous about the world. My parents used to ask - is she okay? Why is she always so quiet? I didn't really speak much until about five or six. And even now when I ask them what the shift was, they can't put their finger on it.

I went through school, college, university and then got married young. I always had this vision, even as a small child, that I was meant for a bigger life. I couldn't put a finger on it until I started to create towards it.

The catalyst was going through an early divorce and resetting my life at twenty-seven. I moved to the other side of the world, and I was absolutely lost. I didn't have my own identity. I didn't know who I was or what I wanted from life. How do you rebuild when you don't know anything about yourself?

Looking back, I'd been ignoring every sign, every red flag. What I really needed to do was feel safe in my own body. When I started travelling and really listening to myself, I realised how much of my journey I'd spent ignoring who I really was. Scared of my own success, scared of my possibilities and that implicated everything - my health, my relationships, my business, my finances. Everything.

The inner work has to come first. And I think that's something that gets missed, especially in the coaching world. When you're stepping into a new identity, the real work starts on the inside. I had to learn that the hard way. Could I have done what I do now three years ago? Probably not. I wasn't in a place to do it. You have to do the inner work first.

What's been the biggest thing that's built your belief and confidence?

Listening to my intuition. I ignored it for a very long time and it cost me, nearly my life, when I went through a near-death experience.

I've learned to regulate every single day. Creating safety in the body, creating a life you want to live, living with purpose. It took time to find all of that. And I think you have to enjoy the journey of your becoming. One of my mentors taught me: messy inspired action, Amy. You've got to keep going.

When things aren't aligning - learn to move with that. Take the lesson and keep going. When you're in that spiral, that's okay. We all have bad days. But you've got to learn to get out of it as quickly as you go into it. That's the secret. And that's where the regulation piece comes in.

You talk about having a dysregulated nervous system - can you explain what that actually means?

When I first started using this word, nobody was resonating with it. And I realised - nobody knows what dysregulation actually is. If you told younger Amy she was dysregulated, she'd have had no idea what you meant.

So what does a dysregulated person actually look like? Often, you've been living in that state for so long you don't know the difference. You're always working, overachieving, people-pleasing - always exhausted. These things keep coming up and if you're in that state, it's really hard to see anything different.

My breakdown was the thing that made me change. But you don't have to get to that point. You don't have to reach absolute catastrophe before you decide to do something. You can do it gradually - starting with creating a routine every single day.

When you're in your power and regulated, this is where the real work happens. Women tell me they want to manifest their dream life and I lean heavily into that, because I know everyone can achieve it. But only if you first learn to regulate and learn to feel safe in your body. And fundamentally - believe in yourself, undeniably, even when the people around you can't see your vision.

Amy and I worked together last year. You came to me because you were feeling really, what I would say, frustrated because you had a mission to share, but weren't using your voice to it's full potential. What changed as a result of us working together?

Halfway through, Sarah asked me: have you shared your story in person? And the answer was no. So she made me go and find a networking event where I could actually speak to people face to face.

Since then, I've added keynote speaker to my bio. I've spoken on international stages. I've hosted my own retreats and my own podcast. A lot of that has been a catalyst from the work we did together.

I think the biggest shift was really knowing who I am and who I'm speaking to - and not being afraid to share my story. I was a little nervous before. But over this last year I've had the chance to grow and really step into more of that identity piece. Why am I here? Who am I here to lead?

I also didn't believe in myself the same way a year ago that I do today. A lot of that has come through my own regulation work, really stepping into the version of Amy who already has everything she wants.

What did the identity shift look like - from not sharing your story to speaking on international stages?

Knowing that I am worthy of success. That I'm allowed to speak my truth and that nothing and no one will hold me back anymore.

I'll go a little woo-woo here - I've become a lot more spiritual in the last year. I sit more in meditation. I really try to listen to what the collective need to hear. I recently had a post go semi-viral - nearly a million views. That came from going into a meditation, going for a walk, and letting a message come through. This is what I mean about listening to your intuition. Whatever's coming through is leading you in the right direction.

I was scared to share my story at first - sharing the divorce, being very personal. I worried what people would think - former people in my life, in my hometown. But knowing you're doing it for the right reasons - to share a mission, to help others, to inspire something you can't yet fully see - that changes everything.

So lean into why you're here to do this.

How does it feel now, getting up in front of people and sharing your story?

It's pretty unbelievable sometimes. But at the same time - I manifested this. This is what I saw in my reality.

I've leaned heavily into the joy of business and life. I didn't create this to create another job for myself. I did it for freedom, and to give back. And the more joy I bring into my life, the more things come through.

I put myself in situations that make me uncomfortable - because that's how I know I'm growing. Speaking at a huge university in Miami came from getting myself into a room with people much further ahead of me and asking for the opportunity. Things will come to you, but there will be times you have to get yourself out there too.

I don't hold back anymore - I take the messy inspired action and I go. And when you realise you're capable of so much more than the limits you've placed on yourself, you can do anything.

Tell us about The Unshakeable Woman - what does being 'unshakeable' mean to you?

It's very close to my heart. When I went through everything I did and rebuilt myself, I really wanted to find my own power - that version of me that, no matter what relationship or career came next, would never give away her power again.

That's the unshakeable piece. I work with women so that no matter what - even if it's 12 weeks or 6 months working with me - this lasts a lifetime. I'm not here to create a quick fix. I want something that remains for the rest of your life. Stepping into your identity, your power, your success, your divine feminine.

Unshakeable means nothing and no one will ever take your power again - that's what you become.

We look at things that are often never taught - mastering your emotions, stepping into self-leadership, knowing your identity, working with the subconscious mind. Because you can manifest a dream life all you want. But if you fundamentally don't believe you can have it, you will never get there. The subconscious is running 95% of everything you think. So we have to work with that, and knock out the beliefs that have been wired into us from an early age.

Where would you suggest someone starts if any of this has resonated?

Awareness is the number one step in changing your life. Get honest about where you are right no, what's working and what isn't. Stop pretending everything is okay when it isn't.

Then create a morning routine - even five minutes. A guided meditation, journaling, setting your belief system for the day. Then micro regulation throughout the day - breathing, movement, walking, and a wind-down ritual in the evening.

Be quiet enough to listen to your intuition. It's always guiding you. And fundamentally - believe that you are worthy of so much more.

To close - can you fill in the blank: listeners should speak with...

Confidence. Because you are leading your life through confidence. You are the one who has to believe in you - nobody else is going to do it for you. Nobody is going to hand you a rulebook.

Confidence is built by doing messy inspired action - do things that scare you, step outside your comfort zone and create that reality.

Amy can be found on Instagram - amykellycoach_, on LinkedIn as Amy Kelly and on her website www.amykellycoach.com

Prefer Audio?

You can also listen to this episode on my podcast: She Speaks to Scale.

Want to find out which Speaker Identity you are? Take the quiz here

When you’re ready, here’s how I can support you:

I'm Sarah Collins - Speaking Coach, Media Expert and former Senior Television Producer for ITV & ITN.

If turning your speaking into real authority, leads, and revenue is what's missing right now, my signature programme, She Speaks to Scale, is where we do exactly that. Over the course of 8 weeks, we'll get clear on the message that makes you unmistakable, build your confidence and adaptability across every format - podcasts, panels, social media and stages - and you'll pitch for and opportunities, with me as your cheerleader every step of the way.
October spaces available.
Let's discuss your needs

I also coach and train spokespeople within businesses to communicate with clarity, confidence, and composure on social media, podcasts, panels and in broadcast media too.

Turning representatives into trusted, confident Spokespeople