How do you greet someone? Are you a hugger, a nod and a smile, or perhaps you're of the age where you still offer a handshake? Do you crave eye contact, or is it something you shy away from?

First impressions count and when I worked in television, we often had to brief celebrities before they were interviewed on the show. To this day, although I'm not going to name any names, I can remember the ones who made a great first impression and the ones who definitely did not.

In psychology, there is a seven-second rule, which dictates that within moments of meeting a stranger, your brain makes a permanent judgment about them. Seven seconds. That's sometimes before you've even said a word. Psychologists call this thin slicing - the cognitive ability to make accurate judgments based on very limited information.

So how are you being portrayed in just seven seconds?

Today's episode was inspired by a report I read recently that the handshake is set to become a thing of the past. A quarter of Gen Z - that’s anyone born between 1997 and 2012 - say that social anxiety means they simply cannot greet strangers in the traditional way. A survey of 2,000 teenagers found that 92% are more comfortable communicating online than they are in person. I find that absolutely staggering.

I understand partly why those statistics are so high - that generation lived through COVID, a period where touching another person simply wasn't allowed. I remember returning to networking events myself and feeling hesitant to shake hands, even when it was safe to do so again.

But it got me thinking: if the way we greet people is changing, how do we make sure we're still making a great first impression? Because whether you're walking into a networking event, sitting down for a podcast interview, or appearing on camera - first impressions are everything.

Your Energy Arrives Before You Do

Before we get into the specifics, I want to start here - because this is the thing most people overlook entirely.

Before anyone has clocked your posture, heard your voice, or registered your words, they have felt your energy.
Are you present, or somewhere else entirely?
Are you confident, or is imposter syndrome kicking in?
Are you genuinely pleased to be in the room, or are you already wishing you were somewhere else?

Your energy speaks volumes.

So I want you to ask yourself: am I showing up in the best energy I have right now? And if the answer is no - what do I need to do to shift that?

I work with my clients on exactly this. For some it's a walk in nature before a big opportunity. For others it's exercise, or a grounding practice, or simply a few minutes of quiet before they walk in. It's about finding what works for you and scheduling it in when it matters most, so you are genuinely bringing your best self into the room.

The 55 / 38 / 7 Rule: What's Actually Creating Your First Impression

Communication expert Albert Mehrabian, breaks down the impact we make into three elements - visual, vocal tone, and words. Now, he expresses this is for all communication, but I would argue it relates more to those first few moments.

55% - Non-verbal communication

More than half of your first impression is made before you've spoken a single word. Your posture, your eye contact, how you carry yourself as you enter a room - all of it is communicating something about you before you've opened your mouth.

Posture is something I've had to actively work on, and still do every day. It's easy to shrink, especially in unfamiliar rooms or high-pressure situations. But standing tall, taking up your space, and meeting someone's eyes signals confidence and openness. Eye contact in particular builds trust quickly. It says - I see you, I'm here, you have my full attention.

38% - Vocal tone

This is not what you say, but how you say it. The warmth, the steadiness, the pace of your voice. In broadcasting, a warm, measured, calm and composed voice signals competence and that's exactly what I teach the spokespeople I work with.

If you rush, your nerves show. If you slow down even slightly, you immediately come across as more assured. And a smile in your voice? People can hear it. It creates warmth that draws people in before they've even processed what you've said

7% - Your actual words

In those first seven seconds, the content matters least. But when you do speak, what you say can have an immediate impact - so make it count.

Which brings me to one of the most important tools you can have ready: your introduction. Know it inside out. Have a clear, confident answer to "what do you do?" One that's just intriguing enough to make someone want to know more - not so much that you've told them everything, not so little that they're none the wiser - just enough to spark curiosity.

The Four Most Common First Impression Mistakes

1. Trying to say too much

You've just met someone and before you’ve had a chance to draw breath, they've told you their entire backstory, what they do and what they’re currently offering. As a listener, it's overwhelming. Rather than being curious, you’re likely to be looking for an exit. Less is more in those first moments.

2. Underselling by being too vague or too modest

The opposite problem, but equally common. Mumbling something about ‘just’ doing this or ‘sort of’ doing that, leaves the other person none the wiser and sometimes having to ask multiple follow-up questions just to understand what you actually do. Find the balance: enough clarity to intrigue, not so much that they switch off. You want them to leave the conversation clear on what you do and genuinely curious to know more.

3. Letting nerves take over physically

Going red, avoiding eye contact, closing off your body language, speaking far too quickly. These things happen and I know from experience how hard they are to manage in high-pressure situations. But they can put people off before you've barely begun. The goal isn't to eliminate the nerves completely. It's to manage them - to master your state, raise your confidence, and remind yourself that you can handle whatever comes your way.

4. Not listening

Stephen Covey, in ‘The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,’ talks about seeking first to understand. We naturally speak to respond - when someone is talking, we're already formulating our reply. But active listening, in this scenario, is where we focus solely on what that person is saying - seek to understand them and understand things from their perspective.

Something I always come back to from Dale Carnegie's ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ is that some of the most memorable communicators he encountered weren't memorable because of what they said. They were memorable because of the genuine interest they took in the other person - asking questions, being curious, making people feel truly seen and heard. The person who listens well is almost always the person who is remembered.

Six Practical Tools to Make a Great First Impression

Have presence - This is where the energy piece comes in. Take up your space, let your body language reflect the fact that you are confident and capable of being in this room.

Smile - It's underrated, but it's one of the first things people register. A genuine smile is disarming, memorable, and completely free.

Become genuinely interested in others - Ask questions, be curious - people remember how you made them feel long after they've forgotten what you said.

Remember people's names - And if they haven't offered theirs, ask. Using someone's name near the start of a conversation is one of the simplest and most powerful ways to make them feel valued.

Offer a genuine compliment - If it feels appropriate and you truly mean it. We too often think something nice about another person and never say it, which is something I’m keen to change.

Know what you're going to say about yourself before you arrive - Your introduction, your one-liner, the answer to "so what do you do?" Prepare it and practice it until it feels natural and rolls off the tongue.

Make Those Seven Seconds Count

You have seven seconds. That might sound daunting, but those seven seconds are entirely within your control.

Your energy, your posture, your eye contact, the warmth in your voice, the clarity of your words. It's all in the preparation, the practice, and the choice you make before you walk into the room.

Think about the last time you showed up on a call or walked into an event. What first impression do you think you gave? And is that the impression you intended to give? If not, what could you do differently next time?

You never get a second chance to make a first impression. So make those seven seconds count.

Prefer Audio?

You can also listen to this episode on my podcast: She Speaks to Scale.

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When you're ready for support, here's how I can help:

I'm Sarah Collins - Media trainer, Communication Coach, and former Senior Television Producer for ITV & ITN. I work with ambitious founders and spokespeople in businesses to help them communicate with clarity, confidence, and composure in the moments that matter most. If you've got a podcast, interview, or speaking opportunity coming up and you want to feel truly ready for it, this is how we can work together:

Founders who want to become an expert voice in their field

Organisations who want their representatives to become credible spokespeople

Photos by: Photo by Filip Rankovic Grobgaard on Unsplash, Photo by Christina @ wocintechchat.com M on Unsplash, Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash