Something happened three times in one week that made me know I had to talk about this.

The first was in my in-person workshop. I gave the attendees an exercise to work through in pairs - one of the questions was: why are you the right person to do this? I introduced it by saying: now is your time to shine. The room had been full of buzz and energy up until that point. And then it went a little quiet. Before anyone started talking, someone said: I don't want to seem like I'm bragging.

The second was my own experience. I was about to release a podcast episode with a former client - a deeply personal conversation about her journey from feeling completely unheard to speaking in parliament. Within the episode, I had asked her how she found working with me, and what she does differently as a result. And I hesitated. Was it a bit egotistical? What would people think?

The third came on the morning I recorded this episode, when I opened LinkedIn and the first thing I saw at the top of a contact's post was: selling yourself is never easy, but here it goes.

So, why do women struggle to promote what they do and why they are the person to do it?

Why Staying Quiet Isn't Humility - It's Invisibility

Think about the last time you were looking for a service provider. A plumber, a photographer, a coach, someone to paint your house. You didn't just pick the first name that appeared. You looked for recommendations - you read their words, watched their videos, scrolled through their content, read their reviews. You were building a picture of who they were, what they stood for, and whether you could trust them with your money, your time, and your problem.

Your audience is doing exactly the same thing with you.

Right now, there are people watching you from the sidelines - reading your posts, listening to your podcast, scrolling through your profile and deciding whether you are the person they've been looking for.

If we blend in, no one will ever know about us.
If we never provide social proof, no one will ever understand what it's like to work with us.
And if we don't speak clearly about what we do, how will anyone know what solutions we provide or how to work with us?

I released that podcast episode with my client, because it was a great example of what becomes possible when you start trusting and believing in your voice - and that's the kind of inspiration I want to put out into the world. And you are capable of providing inspiration too.

The Achievement Timeline: Where to Start

There's a coaching exercise I've used with clients for years that I want to share, because I think it's one of the most powerful things you can do to start understanding why you stand out.

It's called the Achievement Timeline. Its sole purpose is to show you, in black and white, just how much you have already done and achieved.

Take a piece of paper, open a blank document, or pull up the notes app on your phone - whatever feels right and you’re able to do. Draw a line from left to right, or simply make a list. On one end, write the year you were born. On the other end, today's date. Then, working your way along, note down every single achievement you can think of.

Big and small, personal and professional. Things that got you a round of applause and things nobody else even knows about - every single one.

Note your qualifications, every job you've ever got, a fitness goal you achieved, the presentation you delivered when your hands were shaking, the business you started from scratch, the client who told you that you changed something for them, the time you spoke up when it would have been easier to stay quiet, and the thing that scared you, but you did it anyway.

There's no right or wrong way to do this. Making a list is absolutely fine. The only rule is that you write down everything that comes to mind. Don't look at something you've done and think: ‘that doesn't quite count.’ It all counts.

Once you've written everything down, read it back from the beginning. And as you read, notice how it feels. Because what most people experience in that moment is a disbelief and surprise, that they have done so much, been through so much, overcome so much and somehow managed to forget most of it.

We are extraordinarily good at discounting our own achievements. Filing them away the moment they're done and moving immediately on to the next thing. This exercise asks you to stop - to let it all land and soak in the evidence of what you have achieved, what you have overcome, and the people you have helped along the way.

Now, go back through and highlight everything that makes you stand out in what you do today. Those highlights are your foundation for everything that follows.

We Were Taught Not to Brag, But Times Have Changed

When that attendee said ‘I don't want to sound like I'm bragging’ - there it was, the thing so many of us carry.

Somewhere along the way, we have been conditioned not to seem egotistical, not to talk about ourselves, not to promote our services or admire our own strengths. We were brought up in a generation that told us speaking too much about ourselves was showing off, that we had to remain modest and let what you do speak for itself.

And in some context, that's entirely appropriate.

But times are very different now - it's noisy out there.
How are you going to stand out in business, in media interviews, on a podcast, in a room full of people who don't know you exist?

If we stay modest and wait for people to stumble across what we do, we will be waiting for a very long time. It's a strategy that simply doesn't work anymore.

There are plenty of people doing something similar to what you do. The only way for the people who genuinely need what you offer to find you is if you tell them - clearly, confidently, and consistently - what makes you different.

So I'm binning the word brag and I'm coining a new term.

I want you to think of this not as bragging - but as shining a light.

Because the opposite of shining a light is dimming. Dimming is what happens when we make ourselves small so that others feel comfortable. When we apologise for our achievements, stay quiet about our results, and shrink back because we don't want to seem like we're showing off.

Notice when you're doing it and then reframe it - not as bragging, but as shining a light on what you do.

If we can't be our own cheerleaders, who will be? And if you're worried about what others will think, know that the right people will be cheering you on.

Why You: The Three Things to Get Clear On

When I worked at ITN, this was one of the key messages we would draw out when working with any business and gaining clarity on this is crucial when it comes to confidently speaking on camera and in media interviews - which is exactly what I help my clients with.

I want you to think about ‘why you’ across three areas. And I'm going to share my own examples here. Yes, it feels a little uncomfortable, but this is my platform, and if I don't cheerlead for what I do, who is going to instead?

Your expertise and credentials

What do you actually know? What have you studied, trained in, qualified in? What experience have you accumulated over the years?

Go back to your Achievement Timeline and highlight these now, because I can almost guarantee you are discounting things that are genuinely impressive simply because they feel normal to you. You might assume everyone has a qualification like yours, or experience like yours - they don't. Only you have the expertise and experience that you have.

For me, that's over 20 years working behind the scenes at ITV and ITN, as a Senior Producer for many of those years. I'm also a certified life coach with a qualification accredited by the International Coaching Federation, and a DISC practitioner too.

Your unique approach or framework

How do you do what you do differently from everyone else in your space? This doesn't have to be a radical reinvention, it's often the specific blend of your background, your methodology, and your perspective that nobody else can replicate.

For me, it's the fact that I blend media training with coaching. Because I believe you can have all the tools to deliver a great interview, but to come across as truly confident and credible, you have to have the trust and belief in what you are saying - one without the other isn't enough.

Your results and social proof

What has actually happened for the people you've worked with? What changed? What did they go on to do, say, or achieve? What was going on for them before they worked with you and what do they do differently as a result?

These aren't stories you tell to show off, they are evidence that what you do works and it's exactly this evidence that your ideal client needs before they feel safe enough to invest in you.

For me, a client I worked with last year now speaks on stages internationally and yet when we first met, she had no experience of speaking about what she does in person.

Even sharing these examples has made me feel a little uncomfortable, but I haven't got to where I am in business by staying within my comfort zone.

Three Things to Consider the Next Time You Feel the Urge to Dim

1. Where will you be in six months if you keep dimming? Still at the same level of visibility? Still waiting for the right moment? Still watching other people, with less experience and fewer results than you, step into the opportunities you've been saying no to? Is that really where you want to be?

2. Who are you dimming for? The people who matter - the people who are genuinely your people - are not sitting there hoping you'll stay quiet. They are waiting for you to show up. They want to hear from you, learn from you, work with you, be inspired by you. The person you're afraid of judging you? They're too busy worrying about their own visibility to notice yours.

3. What would you say to a friend in this situation? If someone you love came to you and said: ‘I don't want to answer ‘why me,’ because I don't want to seem like I'm bragging - what would you tell them? Whatever your answer is, give yourself that same advice.

The three moments I shared at the start of this episode - my workshop, my client's podcast, the LinkedIn post - weren't coincidences, they were a reminder that this is one of the most universal struggles women in business face.

And if you've been nodding along while reading this, it's a reminder for you too.

You are not bragging when you talk about what you know. You are not showing off when you share what your clients have achieved. You are not being egotistical when you answer the question why you? with clarity and conviction.

You are shining a light and showing others what is possible - to the potential client who might want to work with you, and to the person who is a few steps behind you in business, seeking inspiration to keep going.

Dimming may be ingrained in us. But it's something we can change - with time, consistency, and a complete belief in what we do.

Prefer Audio?

You can also listen to this episode on my podcast: She Speaks to Scale.

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When you’re ready, here’s how I can support you:

I'm Sarah Collins - Media trainer, Communication Coach, and former Senior Television Producer for ITV & ITN. I work with ambitious founders and spokespeople in businesses to help them communicate with clarity, confidence, and composure in the moments that matter most. If you've got a podcast, interview, or speaking opportunity coming up and you want to feel truly ready for it, this is how we can work together:

Founders who want to become an expert voice in their field

Organisations who want their representatives to become credible spokespeople

Photos by: Photo by Theo Crazzolara on Unsplash, Photo by Frank Alarcon on Unsplash, Photo by mulugeta wolde on Unsplash