This is blog two in my Summer Speaking Habits Series - four episodes dedicated to the speaking habits that are quietly undermining your credibility, confidence, and impact and how to unlearn them.

This blog, the focus is on filler words and we are not looking to eliminate them completely - it’s not perfection we’re after, but perhaps just limit them wherever possible.

What Are Filler Words?

Filler words are the sounds and phrases we reach for when we don't quite know what to say next. The classic ones are 'um’ and ‘er,’ but also ‘you know,’ and ‘like.’ They creep in without us noticing, and over time they can become such an ingrained part of how we speak that we genuinely don't hear them anymore.

Why Do We Use Them?

Speaking is actually one of the most cognitively demanding things we can do. Think about everything that's happening simultaneously: you're selecting words, assembling grammar, planning what comes next, creating the right tone and pitch, monitoring what you've already said, and reading your listener's reactions - all within fractions of a second.

Filler words buy the brain a moment of respite in the middle of all of that. It's thought we use them when our brain hasn't quite caught up with what we're saying - when the cognitive load becomes too much and something needs to fill the gap while we gather our thoughts. They're also a signal to the listener that we haven't finished yet.

So in small doses, they're entirely human. The problem comes when they become excessive.

What Filler Words Are Actually Costing You

Confident communicators ooze credibility and too many filler words can have the opposite effect. They can signal a lack of confidence, undermine your authority, and disrupt the flow and impact of what you're trying to say.

There's even neuroscience behind this. When listeners detect excessive filler words, the brain's amygdala activates a subtle threat response, signalling uncertainty or unreliability in the speaker. Clear, confident communication, on the other hand, triggers trust. And trust is what makes a speaker memorable.

There's also something called listener fatigue. It takes energy to listen to another person. When filler words are frequent, the cognitive load on the listener increases and eventually, they switch off. Not because your content isn't valuable, but because the delivery is making it hard work to follow.

Maybe it's because I'm more in tune with this than most, as a speaking coach, but I pick up on excessive filler words immediately. And as an audience member, you may do too.

The First Step: Awareness

Limiting filler words is about conscious communication - being mindful of your words and communicating with intention and it starts with knowing which ones you reach for.

People tend to have a go-to filler word. Mine is ‘you know’ something that's become increasingly apparent as I record this podcast and listen back to my own voice during editing. I've been implementing the strategies I'm about to share with you to limit it as much as I can. I don't get it right every time, but there has been a definite improvement.

So before anything else - notice. Which filler word do you use often?

Three Tips to Limit Filler Words

Tip 1: Practise and prepare

From my years in television, the contributors who stood out were the ones who had fully prepared - who knew inside out what they wanted to say and had rehearsed it enough that it felt second nature. That preparation builds confidence and focus, so that when the moment arrives for the interview, the speech, the workshop - the words come naturally and with intention.

Preparation removes the cognitive overload that causes filler words in the first place. When you know your subject deeply, your brain doesn't need to reach for an ‘um’ to buy itself time.

Tip 2: Speak slowly

When we're nervous or under pressure, our natural instinct is to speed up. Our communication accelerates and speed creates exactly the conditions where filler words thrive. Your mouth moves faster than your brain can keep up, so it reaches for something to fill the gap.

Slowing down gives your brain the space it needs. By slowly, I mean what you think is slower and then ever so slightly slower than that. What feels uncomfortably slow to you almost always sounds perfectly measured to your audience.

Tip 3: Learn to pause

You may have heard people talk about the ‘power of the pause’ and it really is one of the most underused tools in communication. A pause gives your audience time to catch up with what you've just said, it gives you time to gather your thoughts and it signals composure and confidence in a way that no filler word ever could.

The next time you feel a filler word coming - stop and take a breath. Let the silence sit for just a moment. It will feel much longer to you than it does to your listener and what they'll experience is someone who thinks carefully before they speak.

That is exactly the impression you want to create.

The next time you deliver a speaking opportunity, be mindful of your go-to filler word. Every time you feel it coming, pause instead. It will feel uncomfortable at first, but that discomfort is the habit breaking.

There is a version of you that speaks with more clarity, more presence, and more credibility and breaking these habits is a step in that direction

Prefer Audio?

You can also listen to this episode on my podcast: She Speaks to Scale.

Want to find out which Speaker Identity you are?
Take the quiz here

When you’re ready, here’s how I can support you:

I'm Sarah Collins - Speaking Coach, Media Expert and former Senior Television Producer for ITV & ITN.

If turning your speaking into real authority, leads, and revenue is what's missing right now, my signature programme, She Speaks to Scale, is where we do exactly that. Over the course of the programme, we'll get clear on the message that makes you unmistakable, build your confidence and adaptability across every format - podcasts, panels, social media and stages - and you'll pitch for and deliver opportunities, with me as your cheerleader every step of the way.
September spaces available.
Let's discuss your needs

I also coach and train spokespeople within businesses to communicate with clarity, confidence, and composure on social media, podcasts, panels and in broadcast media too.

Turning representatives into trusted, confident Spokespeople