Welcome to the final blog in my Summer Speaking Habits Series. Over the last four episodes we've covered rambling, filler words, and waiting for permission to speak and I wanted to end with something that I think will resonate with almost everyone listening, because this is a habit that happens quietly, in real time, often without you even realising it's going on.

Today I'm raising your awareness about the running commentary in your head while you're speaking and what you say to yourself after you've spoken too. Together, they are quietly undermining your delivery in ways you might not have considered before.

My Own Experience With Inner Chatter

My inner chatter used to go ten to the dozen. But something incredible happened when I was undertaking my coaching qualification. Through learning the art of active listening, reflective practice, and being grounded and present in the moment, I felt my inner chatter start to disperse.

I remember being at a self-care afternoon with a friend, having recently qualified. We were being taken through a meditation, and the lady running the event asked us to clear our minds and focus on the here and now. When it was time to open our eyes, my friend said she'd had so many things running through her mind throughout the exercise. When she asked me the same, I realised - I hadn't, I'd genuinely been present.

That was the moment I understood just how much the inner chatter had changed.

What the Inner Chatter Sounds Like

You'll recognise the voice I'm talking about - it's the one that rears its head the moment you start doing anything that matters.

In a speaking opportunity, it sounds something like this:

That didn't make sense.
They look bored.
Why did I say that?
I'm going too fast.
I've completely lost my thread.
This is going terribly.
I don't know what I'm going to say next.
They don't look engaged at all.

It's a running commentary on your own performance - happening while you are still speaking. And the moment that commentary starts, your delivery starts to suffer too - your confidence dips, your eye contact drops, your pace changes, your energy shifts and your audience feels it too.

You're no longer fully present - you're in your own head and they know it.

Then the moment you finish speaking, the second phase begins. Every stumble,every pause that felt too long, every word you wish you'd chosen differently - on repeat. Overthinking everything you said, and everything you didn't say.

I know exactly how it feels - breaking this habit - as it was for me - makes a world of difference. You become fully present and you actually start to enjoy the opportunities that come your way, rather than dreading every second of them.

What the Inner Chatter Actually Is

While researching this episode, I found the inner chatter referred to by all sorts of names - ‘brain chatter’, ‘inner monologue,’ ‘inner voice,’ ‘internal dialogue.’ Whatever you call it, it's actually a fundamental part of being human - it helps us process information, solve problems, and navigate social situations.

We're not trying to eliminate it entirely, we never could. What we want to do is control it - so it doesn't take over in the moments that really matter.

Research shows that people use inner chatter considerably more when they are under pressure, which is exactly why it tends to be loudest during speaking opportunities. The higher the stakes feel, the louder the commentary gets.

Being self-aware about that voice is the first and most crucial step.

Three Ways to Manage Your Inner Chatter

Tip 1: Practise mindfulness or meditation beforehand

Mindfulness and meditation encourage you to be present in the moment - which is the direct antidote to the inner chatter. I'll be honest: I've struggled to get into meditation myself, but I do make sure I ground myself beforehand with breathing exercises and visualisation. Taking a few minutes to slow my breathing, get present, and picture a positive outcome before I speak makes a real difference.

If you've never tried it, start small - even two or three minutes of focused breathing before a speaking opportunity will shift something.

Tip 2: Challenge the negative self-talk in the moment

When you hear the inner chatter start, when those critical thoughts begin their running commentary - challenge them. Ask yourself: is this actually true? What evidence do I have to back this up?

And then replace it, by finding a positive affirmation that feels true for you. Mine sounds something like: I'm an expert in what I do. What I have to say matters. The moment the negative chatter starts, I say it back.

It works, every time. Find yours and keep it close for the moments you need it most.

Tip 3: Accept imperfection in advance

Before you speak, give yourself explicit permission to be imperfect. Not as a lowering of standards, but as a deliberate removal of the pressure that feeds the inner chatter in the first place.

This has been a game changer for me as a recovering perfectionist. The knowledge that things don't have to be perfect has changed how I see the world. Instead of constantly seeking a flawless delivery and criticising myself when it doesn't materialise, I'm genuinely okay now with things being imperfect - including my own imperfections. It has taken so much pressure off and it has meant I've said yes to so many more things - including creating this podcast.

If you try just one of these three tips, let it be this one.

As we close this series, a reminder for you. These are habits and habits can be broken. I hope that somewhere across these four blogs , something has shifted for you.

Sometimes, though, awareness isn't quite enough. Sometimes you need support to actually break a habit that has been with you for years and that's exactly what working with a speaking coach will do.

If any of this has sparked something in you and you're ready to up-level your speaking - reach out and let's have a conversation.

Prefer Audio?

You can also listen to this episode on my podcast: She Speaks to Scale.

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I'm Sarah Collins - Speaking Coach, Media Expert and former Senior Television Producer for ITV & ITN.

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