This is the third blog in my Summer Speaking Habits Series - dedicated to the speaking habits that are quietly undermining your credibility, confidence, and impact, and how to break them.

Today's habit is a little different from the first two. Rambling and filler words are external - things your audience can hear. This one is internal - it's a habit that lives entirely inside your head and in many ways, it's the most damaging of all.

We think we need permission from others before we speak.

This is Personal

I felt this way before I started my own business. In the corporate world, I waited for others to ask my opinion before I gave it. I kept my voice small and didn't question things as they arose. In hindsight, what was really happening was internal - I didn't believe in my voice, or trust that others would take what I said seriously.

Who would want to listen to me?

Those thoughts have come up many times in the last couple of years since going out on my own, but I slowly decided to acknowledge them and then move forward despite them anyway. As I did, the trust and belief in my own voice grew.

Podcast guest appearances, talks to rooms full of business owners, masterclasses in memberships and launching this podcast. A radio interview and delivering workshops in organisations - all of that in the last two years alone, none of which would have happened if I hadn't given myself permission to speak in the first place.

Retain your Power

That voice that tells you to keep small and keep quiet - let's call it your inner chatter. It's trying to keep you safe, to protect you from embarrassment or rejection - but in doing so, it also stops you from fully sharing your expertise, your story, and your value.

Because when you focus on other people's perceptions, you give away your power.

Speaking confidently isn't about removing that fear entirely, it's about learning to speak despite it.

Nobody is Coming to Give You Permission

What I want you to take away from this blog is simple: the permission you're waiting for is yours to give, no one else is going to provide it for you.

I've seen firsthand the spiral effect of delivering one podcast interview and then being invited to another opportunity off the back of it and then another. That spiral only starts when you give yourself permission to say yes to the first one.

I've seen it with my clients too - how they evolve as we work together on their message, their mindset, and their delivery. The trust and belief in their voice grows and by the time we've completed our time together, watching the permission they give themselves to speak up, to advocate for others in their community, to step onto stages and empower other women - is one of the most wonderful things to witness.

The LinkedIn Comment That Stayed With Me

While crafting this episode, I remembered a comment left on my LinkedIn in the early days of my business. Someone wrote: ‘I needed you recently - I was asked to appear on This Morning, but said no because I didn't feel ready.’

A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity - gone, because that person hadn't done the groundwork to give themselves permission to say yes.

Do not let that be you.

The Trap of Waiting Until You're Ready

I want you to give yourself permission to speak.

I want you to give yourself permission to do the podcast interview.

I want you to give yourself permission to call yourself an expert in what you do.

Because too often I hear brilliant women say:

I'll do it when I've done that other course.

I'll do it when my business is more established.

I'll do it when I've got more experience.

And what they're really doing is waiting for external validation. Waiting for someone to say: you've done this course, you've got this experience -now you're qualified.

Yes, credentials matter - they never go amiss. But you don't need as many qualifications or as much experience as you think you do and as women, this definitely holds us back. Look around your field right now - I guarantee there are people doing what you want to do with less experience and fewer qualifications than you.

There's a quote from Maya Angelou that I come back to again and again:

‘Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.’

Give yourself permission to speak with the knowledge you have right now - not the knowledge you'll have after the next course. Now.

Three Ways to Start Trusting and Believing in Your Voice

Tip 1: Set your goal

What would be your dream location, event, or opportunity where you'd love to share your insights, thoughts, and opinions to help others? Write it down and put it somewhere you can see it every day, because when you know where you're headed, the steps to get there feel far more possible.

Tip 2: Collect evidence that you are capable

This is the step most people skip and it's one of the most powerful. Think about every time you've successfully used your voice. Every time you've spoken up, advocated for someone, delivered a presentation, shown up despite the nerves. Now, remember how you felt afterwards.

It felt good, didn't it?

Come back to that feeling every time you doubt yourself, because the inner chatter will tell you you're not ready, but your evidence tells a different story.

Tip 3: Seek out opportunities

Summer is a brilliant time to get ahead - research the speaking opportunities you could put yourself forward for. Make a list. Start with people in your network you could approach, and widen out from there. Think about pitching in September with a head start already done.

And when you've done that, ask yourself these two questions:

When it comes to speaking — where am I waiting for someone's permission?

What action would I take today if I fully believed and trusted in my own voice?

The answer to that second question is almost always exactly what you need to do next.

The people growing their visibility, their authority, and their impact are not waiting for permission. They're showing up and sharing their story, their message, their mission, with the knowledge they have today, knowing they'll continue to learn and evolve it tomorrow.

Someone out there needs to hear exactly what you have to say, so stop waiting for permission - give it to yourself, today.

Prefer Audio?

You can also listen to this episode on my podcast: She Speaks to Scale.

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When you’re ready, here’s how I can support you:

I'm Sarah Collins - Speaking Coach, Media Expert and former Senior Television Producer for ITV & ITN.

If turning your speaking into real authority, leads, and revenue is what's missing right now, my signature programme, She Speaks to Scale, is where we do exactly that. Over the course of the programme, we'll get clear on the message that makes you unmistakable, build your confidence and adaptability across every format - podcasts, panels, social media and stages - and you'll pitch for and deliver opportunities, with me as your cheerleader every step of the way.
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I also coach and train spokespeople within businesses to communicate with clarity, confidence, and composure on social media, podcasts, panels and in broadcast media too.

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